Sunday 15 March 2009

Smurfsbane

According to national stats I'm average height. For a woman. A mere technicality when you factor high heels into the equation.

You see, there was a time before heels (BFE - before heels era) when being a man of average height (for a woman) wasn't so bad. All the average height girls AND all the below average height girls were in range. But this is 2008, deep post-BFE and evolution simply hasn't had time to allow for high heels.

Not so long ago I was in an elevator with four heel-rocking women. For the 30 seconds or so that it took us to reach our floor I was the only male in the observable universe (brap). This was rendered irrelevant by the fact that I was also the shortest human in the observable universe (anti-brap).

The above anecdote doesn't tell us much though, four girls isn't a large sample and could be put down to ill luck. Last month I attended a birthday dinner (5-star ;]) where around 15 women (heel rockers one and all) made an appearance. I'd estimate more than 10 were taller than me. Grim odds. Factor in my fussiness when it comes to looks and personality and it becomes apparent that 'grim odds' doesn't cover it.

(Don't bother commenting if you plan on mentioning heels for men)

1 comment:

  1. haven't laughed that much for a while. can't really empathize and I know you don't want sympathy so all I can say is, well said.

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